I feel all the blood rush to my face. “That’s not fair.” #51 | | |
Peter leans in close and says, “You only like guys you don’t have a shot with, because you’re scared. What are you so scared of?” #52 | | |
I back away from him, right into the wall. “I’m not scared of anything.” #53 | | |
“The hell you’re not. You’d rather make up a fantasy version of somebody in your head than be with a real person.” #54 | | |
I glare at him. “You’re just mad because I didn’t die of happiness because the great Peter Kavinsky said he liked me. Your ego really is that enormous.” #55 | | |
His eyes flash. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t show up on your doorstep with flowers and profess my undying love for you, Lara Jean, but guess what, that’s not real life. You need to grow up.” #56 | | |
That’s it. I don’t have to listen to this. I turn on my heel and walk away. Over my shoulder I say, “Enjoy the hot tub.” #57 | | |
“I always do,” he calls back. #58 | | |
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Is it true? Could he be right? #61 | | |
Back at the room, I change into my flannel nighty and put on thick socks. I don’t even go wash up. I just turn out the lights and crawl into bed. I can’t fall asleep, though. Every time I close my eyes, I see Peter’s face. #62 | | |
How dare he say I need to grow up? What does he know about anything? As if he’s so mature! #63 | | |
But . . . is he right about me? Do I only like the boys I can never have? I’ve always known Peter was out of my reach. I’ve always known he didn’t belong to me. But tonight he said he liked me. The thing I’ve been hoping for, he said it. So why didn’t I just tell him I liked him back when I had the chance? Because I do. I like him back. Of course I do. What girl wouldn’t fall for Peter Kavinsky, handsomest boy of all the Handsome Boys. Now that I really know him, I know he’s so much more than that. #64 | | |
I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to be brave. I want . . . life to start happening. I want to fall in love and I want a boy to fall in love with me back. #65 | | |
Before I can talk myself out of it, I put on my puffy coat, slip my keycard in my pocket, and head off to the hot tub. #66 | | |
