to all the boys i've loved before / до всички момчета, които съм обичала: Четиридесет и девета глава

Английски оригинал Перевод на български

49

#1

THE NEXT NIGHT PETER AND I study at Starbucks for a few hours—well, I study, and he keeps getting up and talking to people from school. On the way home he asks, “Did you sign up for the ski trip?”

#2

“No. I’m a terrible skier.” Only cool people like Peter and his friends go on the ski trip. I could try to twist Chris’s arm into going, but she’d probably laugh in my face. She’s not going on any school trip.

#3

“You don’t have to ski. You can snowboard. That’s what I’m doing.”

#4

I give him a look. “Can you picture me snowboarding?”

#5

“I’ll teach you. Come on, it’ll be fun.” Peter grabs my hand and says, “Please please please, Lara Jean? Come on, be a sport. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

#6

He catches me by surprise with this. The ski trip isn’t until winter break. So he wants to keep this, us, up until then. For some reason I feel relieved.

#7

“If you don’t want to snowboard,” he continues, “the lodge has a big stone fireplace and big comfy chairs. You can sit and read for hours. And they sell the best hot chocolate. I’ll buy you one.” He squeezes my hand.

#8

My heart does a little zing, and I say, “All right, I’ll go. But the hot chocolate had better be as good as you say.”

#9

“I’ll buy you as many as you want.”

#10

“Then you better bring a lot of singles,” I say, and Peter snorts. “What?”

#11

“Nothing.”

#12

When we get to my house, I climb out and he drives away before it occurs to me I left my bag on the floor of his car, and Daddy and Kitty aren’t home. They’re at Kitty’s school for parent-teacher conferences.

#13

I fumble around blindly under the deck, feeling around in the dark for the spare keys we keep hidden under the wheelbarrow. Then I remember that the spare keys are in the junk drawer, in the house, because I forgot to put them back the last time I got locked out. I have no keys, no phone, no way of getting into the house.

#14

Josh! Josh has a spare key. He’s watered my dad’s plants for him a few times when we went away on vacation.

#15

I find a rock in the driveway and I cross the lawn and stand underneath Josh’s window. I throw the rock at it and I miss. I find another one, and it pings off the glass, barely making a sound. I try again, with a bigger rock. This one hits.

#16

Josh opens the window and leans his head out. “Hey. Did Kavinsky leave already?”

#17

Surprised, I say, “Yeah. I left my bag in his car. Can you throw down the spare keys?”

#18

Josh sighs, like I’m asking for something huge. “Hold on.” Then he disappears.

#19

I stand there and wait for him to come back to the window, but he doesn’t. He comes outside the front door instead. He’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. It’s Margot’s favorite hoodie. When they first got together, she used to wear it all the time, like it was a letterman’s jacket or something.

#20

I hold my hand out for the keys and Josh drops them in my hand. “Thanks, Joshy.”

#21

I turn to leave, but he says, “Wait. I’m worried about you.”

#22

“What? Why?”

#23

He sighs heavily and adjusts his glasses. He only wears his glasses at night. “This thing with Kavinsky . . .”

#24

“Not that again. Josh—”

#25

“He’s a player. He’s not good enough for you. You’re . . . innocent. You’re not like other girls. He’s a typical guy. You can’t trust him.”

#26

“I think I know him a lot better than you do.”

#27

“I’m just looking out for you.” Josh clears his throat. “You’re like my little sister.”

#28

I want to hit him for saying that. “No I’m not,” I say.

#29

An uneasy look crosses over Josh’s face. I know what he’s thinking, because we’re both thinking it.

#30

Then, headlights are beaming down our street. It’s Peter’s car. He’s come back. I hand Josh his set of keys and run over to my driveway. Over my shoulder I call out, “Thanks, Joshy!”

#31

I come around the front to the driver’s side. Peter’s window is down. “You forgot your bag,” he says, glancing over toward Josh’s house.

#32

“I know,” I say breathlessly. “Thanks for coming back.”

#33

“Is he out there?”

#34

“I don’t know. He was a minute ago.”

#35

“Then just in case,” Peter says, and he leans his head out and kisses me on the lips, open-mouthed and sure.

#36

I’m stunned.

#37

When he pulls away, Peter’s smiling. “Night, Lara Jean.”

#38

He drives off into the night and I’m still standing there with my fingers to my lips. Peter Kavinsky just kissed me. He kissed me, and I liked it. I’m pretty sure I liked it. I’m pretty sure I like him.

#39

* * *

#40

The next morning I’m at my locker, putting my books away, when I see Peter walking down the hallway. My heart thumps in my chest so loud I can hear it echo in my ears. He hasn’t seen me yet. I duck my head into my locker and start arranging my books into a pile.

#41

From behind the locker door he says, “Hey.”

#42

“Hey,” I say back.

#43

“I just want to set your mind at ease, Covey. I’m not going to kiss you again, so don’t worry about it.”

#44

Oh.

#45

So that’s that. It doesn’t matter if I like him or not, because he doesn’t like me back. It’s kind of silly to feel so disappointed about something you only just realized you wanted, isn’t it?

#46

Don’t let him see that you’re disappointed.

#47

I face him. “I wasn’t worrying about it.”

#48

“Yes you were. Look at you: your face is all pinched together like a clam.” Peter laughs, and I try to unpinch my face, to look serene. “It’s not going to happen again. It was all for Sanderson’s benefit.”

#49

“Good.”

#50

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