That’s when I see her. Margot, standing a few feet behind Josh, her hand to her mouth. The piano music has stopped, the world has stopped spinning, because Margot has heard everything. #51 | | |
“It’s not true, is it? Please tell me it’s not true.” #52 | | |
I open and close my mouth. I don’t have to say anything, because she already knows. Margot who knows me so well. #53 | | |
“How could you?” she asks, and her voice trembles. The hurt in her eyes makes me want to die. I’ve never seen that look in her eyes before. #54 | | |
“Margot,” Josh begins, and she shakes her head and backs away. #55 | | |
“Get out,” she says, her voice breaking. Then she looks at me. “You’re my sister. You’re the person I trust more than anybody.” #56 | | |
“Gogo, wait—” But she’s already gone. I hear her feet run up the stairs. I hear her door shut and not slam. #57 | | |
And then I burst into tears. #58 | | |
“I’m so sorry,” Josh says to me. Bleakly, he says, “This is all my fault.” He walks out the back door. #59 | | |
Peter moves to put his arms around me, but I stop him. “Can you just . . . can you just go?” #60 | | |
Hurt and surprise register on his face. “Sure, I can go,” he says, and he walks out of the kitchen. #61 | | |
I go to the bathroom off the side of the kitchen and sit on the toilet and cry. Someone knocks and I stop crying and call out, “Just a minute.” #62 | | |
Mrs. Shah’s cheery voice says, “Sorry, dear!” and I hear her heels clack away. #63 | | |
Then I get up and splash cold water on my face. My eyes are still red and puffy. I run water over a hand towel and I wet my face with it. My mom used to do this for me when I was sick. She’d put an ice-cold washcloth over my forehead and she’d switch it out with a fresh one when it wasn’t cold anymore. I wish my mom was here. #64 | | |
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When I step back into the party, Mr. Choi is sitting at the piano playing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and Ms. Rothschild has my dad cornered on the couch. She’s throwing back champagne, and he has a mildly startled look on his face. As soon he sees me, my dad jumps off the couch and over to me. “Oh, thank God,” he says. “Where’s Gogo? We haven’t done our number yet.” #66 | | |
“She doesn’t feel well,” I say. #67 | | |
“Hm. I’ll go check on her.” #68 | | |
“I think she just wants to be left alone.” #69 | | |
Daddy’s forehead creases. “Did she and Josh have a fight? I just saw him leave.” #70 | | |
I swallow. “Maybe. I’ll go talk to her.” #71 | | |
He pats me on the shoulder. “You’re a good sister, honey.” #72 | | |
I force a smile. “Thank you, Daddy.” #73 | | |
I go upstairs and Margot’s bedroom door is locked. I stand outside it and ask, “Can I come inside?” #74 | | |
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“Please, Margot. Please just let me explain. . . .” #76 | | |
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“I’m sorry. Margot, I’m so sorry. Please talk to me.” #78 | | |
I sit down outside my door and start to cry. My big sister knows how to hurt me best. Silence from her, being shut out by her, is the worst punishment she could conjure up. #79 | | |
